Day 2: Of Hairspray and Loaded Weapons

Thelma: We retire -- though not from our writing/music careers -- to the McKay House. Melanie reports that the ghost is nigh.

Louise: So here's that creepy story: We walk in our room and there's a long white cotton nightgown, like from Little House on the Prairie, hanging on the wardrobe. There's other stuff there, too. A coat, some old shoes, a few old hats. I took one look at the nightgown and said, "That thing has to go." Trish looks at me like I'm nuts, but I'm used to that, so I don't mind. I stick the gown in the closet. The entire night, I can just feel something lurking. Next morning, I'm talking to our B&B owner and ask him if anyone's ever seen ghosts in the place. He said, "Well, there's the one lady... she wears a white gown. People see her a lot." I look down my nose at Trish in a superior way. I KNEW it!!

Thelma: Melanie's got a radar for that sort of thing. I'm a little envious of her gift for the supernatural, but she assures me it's a big fat pain in the ass. Apparently ghosts are like roaches, or rodents, maybe. They look for chinks in your constitutional armor, then they get in there and set up a base camp. Melanie's insomnia, for example, is probably a chink. I sleep like Norma Jean on pills, so I guess I'm less available to the spirits who might want to stop by. I'm also less sensitive in a lot of ways than Louise is. Less trigger-happy, you might say, but therefore easily caught unarmed. And as the song says, I wear my gun wrong anyway. I get myself into scrapes that she sees coming a mile off and has the right buckshot for, and I just stand there whimpering. So her chinks do have their advantages. She can stomp the roaches. I can't.

Louise: She's right about the chinks and that the radar thing is a big fat drag. But it did get me a book contract, so there IS that. She is also correct that I'm fully armed at all times. Locked and loaded. You can't tell by looking at me, though. I seem like such a nice girl...

Thelma: Anyway after a night's sleep we're back in the saddle, and we lucky-out on breakfast even though we weren't up in time. Darla saves us some egg casserole, which is so good that even Louise eats it, and she hates eggs. We meet Atticus, the resident toddler named after every character AND actor in the famed movie, and he's unimpressed with us. Clearly the B&B life has lost its luster for Atticus, so he trots upstairs with his mother following him, clutching a plastic violin. We're due to present on a panel of Texas writers, so we high-tail it to the high school after breakfast.

Louise: We were last in line on our panel, so we got the leftover time, which wasn't much. But that turned out great, because 1) we didn't have that much to say; and 2) there was no way we could overstay our welcome. So I visit with the audience for a bit about writing and what a drag it is (year-long brain constipation...) and that our consolation prize for being writers is that we get to share the misery with one another. We talk about our writing trips. I talk about my books for a second (When the Day of Evil Comes; The Soul Hunter; My Soul to Keep - just out from Waterbrook/Multnomah, which is a division of Random House -- woo hoo!) And then I read and Trishy does a snippet of one of her songs:



Louise: I thought we were a hit, didn't you?

Thelma: As much of a hit as you can be at 5:00 on Saturday when everyone's itching to get their beehive on for the Ball of Hair.

Louise: So while we were packing up, we got to meet some really terrific folks. Ron Hogan of www.galleycat.com, who is the BOMB in the publishing world. And I finally got to meet Will Clarke, who lives here in Dallas, and who is always two weeks in front of me on book tour. Check him out at www.willclarke.com. And River Jordan. We got to be on her radio show, Backstory on the Radio (www.backstoryontheradio.com).

Thelma: We have the Galleycat to thank for recording our panel session.

Louise: And the very gracious Will Clarke to thank for the pitches below:

Louise: So, aside from the fact that we both could have used some lipstick and a little fluff in our hair at that piont, I thought the weekend was a smashing success.

Thelma: And loads of fun. We're going back next year. You should come, readers. Bring your Final Net.